Remote Troubles (or The Time Sheldon and Penny Got Stuck In The TV)
by Risknight
Summary: Ever feel like you life is a sitcom? Or a soap opera? Maybe it is. Maybe when you sleep, they show commercials. Sheldon and Penny are about to find out what it's like to be on the small screen.


**Yet another one that was supposed to go into the Ramblings file, but took on a life of it's own. :)**

**rit57 made a suggestion about killing Penny ****South Park style****, and this is what my mind came up with. **

**I really shouldn't be left to occupy myself. That never ends well.**

* * *

Sheldon groaned and placed a hand to his forehead. A sharp pain bounced around his skull making him disoriented. An echoing moan just to his left made him slowly turn his head and open his eyes. Penny sat a foot away, mimicking his pose. She gingerly pushed her hair out of her face and looked at him. Confusion and pain graced her expression. Probably the same look that is on mine, he thought to himself.

"Where the hell are we?" she asked, flinching from the sound of her own voice. Sheldon opened his mouth to retort sarcastically that they were in 4A when he froze. Everything around them was hazy, as if they were in a thick gray fog.

He tried to remember how they had gotten here, but his last memory was of fighting with her for possession of the remote. She had been watching some moronic reality show when he finished his calculations and wanted to watch the Doctor Who special. Penny had resisted, saying her show was almost over, and that he had said she could watch it there since her cable was "temporarily suspended" (which meant she was at least two months behind in her bill).

"I do not know," he admitted angrily. "You tell me."

Penny tried to glare at him, but it hurt too much. "How should I know, Sheldon? Last thing I remember was you being an ass about the TV."

He gaped at her for a second. "Excuse me, but it _is_ my TV."

"Which you said I could borrow!" she exclaimed. "Eight frickin' minutes, Sheldon. I had eight minutes left in my show and eight minutes until yours. You just wanted to be mean!"

He crossed his arms defensively. "I agreed that you could watch that innocuous program while I was working. I had finished working, hence your TV time was over!"

Penny jumped to her feet. "Listen, mister!"

Sheldon scrambled up to his own feet, not willing to let her tower over him. "Mister?! That's Doctor to you!"

Penny stepped closer and jabbed a finger in his chest. Her mouth opened but a sudden flash of blinding light interrupted whatever she had to say.

It felt like they were in a windstorm. Their clothes flapped against their bodies and her hair flew in all directions. Sheldon instinctively grabbed for her waist, and she latched onto his shoulders. When the light and wind disappeared they looked around them with shock.

* * *

It was muggy and too warm. Dark green trees were everywhere, and the ground beneath their feet felt spongy. Slowly they turned as one and looked all around.

"Is this…a swamp?" Penny hesitantly asked.

Sheldon nodded, feeling lightheaded. How had they gotten here? Why were they here? A rustling sound to the right made them spin around. Sheldon clutched tighter to Penny's waist as she tried to back up a step.

"Penny," his voice was weak and fearful, "I think something is watching us."

She wanted to scoff, but she, too, felt the oppressive weight of eyes on them. They slowly began to move backwards, toward a large tree. She licked her dry lips and whispered from the corner of her mouth. "Sheldon, when I count to three, we will make a run for that tree. The branches are low enough that we could climb several feet up."

Sheldon shook his head frantically. "Penny, the one and only time I climbed a tree was when I was chased by a chicken. That was over 20 years ago. I do not know how to climb."

Penny heard something large moving in the shadows. "Then you better learn quick," she warned. "One. Two…"

They both jumped as a massive animal suddenly crashed through the underbrush straight for them. Penny shoved Sheldon out of it's way hard and dove in the opposite direction. She landed hard on an exposed tree root and rolled over it. Rancid hot breath washed over her and she heard a thunderous snapping sound. She looked over her shoulder to find sharp teeth the size of a shark's were mere inches away. The jaws were around the foot thick root, giving her a bird's eye view down a gaping throat.

Something grabbed her from behind and she screamed. She threw a fist and connected with Sheldon's shoulder as he tried to drag her to her feet. He flinched but didn't let go.

"Come on!" he yelled loudly. Penny leapt up and they took off running as fast as they could. What the holy hell was going on here?!

* * *

Leonard set the remote on the coffee table and headed into the kitchen for a soda. He wondered where Sheldon was vaguely, but lately he and Sheldon had been snipping at each other a bit more than usual. Ever since he had returned from the North Sea, Sheldon had become more and more unbearable. Four Sheldon-free months had been awesome. The only downside was that they were also Penny-free months. Of course, there had been plenty of attractive girls to flirt with on the boat (and it was only flirting) plus he got to brag about his hot girlfriend to all the other nerds.

Of course, once he got back, Sheldon had to throw a hissy fit that he didn't come straight home. And then he had that breakthrough. (He couldn't help wondering if Sheldon had made the breakthrough just to overshadow his trip.)Was it too much to ask for a bit of spotlight for once?

He walked back over and slouched in Sheldon's spot. He paid little attention to Mega-Gator on Scy-Fy, lost in his musings. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. It opened a second later and Howard walked in, Bernadette and Amy right behind him. The girls headed to the kitchen, discussing Bernadette's latest work. Howard sat on the arm of the couch and smiled.

"Hey! I watched this last night! Really cheesy, but a good laugh." Howard slid over onto the cushion and leaned forward. "These scientists are looking for a cure for Tourette Syndrome and they mutate this alligator. It breaks free and kills the lead scientist and this park ranger and his ex girlfriend have to stop it from reaching a boy scout troop hiking through the everglades."

Leonard looked at the TV movie without much interest. Two people were running through the swamp, a large CGI reptile crashing after them. He picked up the remote and changed the channel.

* * *

They were almost to a thick mangrove when there was another blinding light. Penny gasped and Sheldon's hand tightened around her wrist with more strength than she would have thought he had. The light slowly receded and they looked around them with confusion.

"Penny?"

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"We're cartoons."

"Yep."

"Why are we cartoons?"

"I have no frakin' idea."

"Oh. Okay."

* * *

"Where is Sheldon?" Amy asked in a stiff voice after walking back to the living room.

Leonard paused his channel surfing and shrugged. "I haven't seen him. He left work early because some grad students kept trying to get him to review their thesis outlines."

Amy frowned and walked down the short hall. They all heard her knocking, but Sheldon didn't answer. Leonard flinched, immediately turning his eyes to the cartoon on the TV as Amy threw open Sheldon's door. He didn't want a strike for her invading his privacy.

Leonard frowned slightly as he watched the characters on screen. Huh. One looked like of like Sheldon if you squinted a bit.

* * *

He watched with disgust as the boy to his right threw up copious amounts of paper mache as the little girl in a purple jacket walked by and said hello. He looked at Penny on his left. "Penny, I have a bad feeling about this," he whispered. "I think I recognize that kid."

Penny turned her attention from the cold snowy landscape and looked around Sheldon to the others. They were apparently at a bus stop, but there were only the two kids and them. She looked at the ugly orange parka she wore with distaste. "Sheldon, how can you be afraid of a little boy?"

"What the hell are you two mumbling about?!" the rather large boy to the far right demanded loudly. "You think I don't know you're talking about me?! I _know_ you're talking about me! I'm not fat, goddammit! I'm just big boned! Screw you guys! I'm goin' home!"

Sheldon flinched from the round tyke's tirade but Penny gasped in alarm. "Crap!" she exclaimed. Sheldon turned toward her just as a boxy meteoroid crashed in the very spot she stood.

The little boy with the weak stomach looked over with resignation. "Oh my god," he monotoned. "They've killed Penny."

Sheldon opened his mouth to scream but a flash of light froze it in his throat.

* * *

Amy put away her phone angrily and plopped down on the couch in what she considered her spot. She huffed and leaned back. "He is not answering his phone either. Where could he be?"

Before anyone could answer, the door opened and Raj walked in. Amy sat up straight hopefully. "Rajesh, where is Sheldon?"

He gave a startled "eep" and slowly closed the door. "I do not know. I have not seen him since 10:00 this morning. Is he missing?"

Leonard frowned slightly. "Didn't you bring him home? He left just before lunch."

Raj shook his head. "Not me, dude. He was cranky this morning. I stayed away."

Bernadette stood and walked to the door. "Maybe Penny picked him up." She stepped into the hall and knocked on Penny's door.

Amy stood and watched from the open doorway. Lately something strange had been going on. When Leonard had returned and gone straight to Penny, Sheldon had been upset. He said it was because he was Leonard's best friend and should have been the first contacted, but Amy had this nagging suspicion that it had more to o with Leonard appropriating Penny's time.

Over the four month absence of Leonard, Penny and Sheldon had spent long hours together. She had driven him to and from work, the comic shop, and eaten with him almost every night. Every night except date night. In fact, Sheldon had spent more time with Penny and less time with her over the summer.

It was all perfectly innocent, she was sure. But. She couldn't help being a bit envious at how easily Sheldon and Penny interacted with each other. Even when they were fighting, they had a way of connecting that seemed to exclude everyone else.

"She's not home," Bernadette said, interrupting Amy's musings. "Did she work today? Maybe Sheldon is there?"

Howard shook his head. "Doubtful. Sheldon only goes there on Tuesdays."

"Or when he has a problem he wants Penny's help with," Raj corrected casually. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned. Everyone was watching him with surprise. He fidgeted nervously at the attention. "Well, it's true. He has often gone to Penny for help with his problems."

Leonard chuckled without humor. "Yeah. Right now, she's helping him unravel mysteries of the universe." He pressed the channel button on the TV, ignoring the unease in his chest.

* * *

Sheldon's scream was muffled by a hand slapping across his face. His eyes were wide with alarm as he looked down into worried hazel eyes. He slumped with relief and wrapped Penny in a tight hug without thought.

"You died!" he murmured into her hair. He felt her rub his back soothingly.

"It was a cartoon, sweetie. Characters in a cartoon are never really dead." Penny couldn't resist snuggling a tiny bit deeper into the fierce embrace. A few seconds passed before they slowly pulled away. Sheldon's cheeks were bright pink and he kept his eyes on his shoes.

"I apologize for manhandling you," he muttered. "I was understandable confused and distressed."

Penny patted his arm gently. "That's okay, sweetie. I und.."

The rest of Penny's words were drowned out by a sudden loud boom and the smell of gunpowder. They crouched and looked around quickly. They were in a rice field and they could clearly hear the sounds of fighting coming from all around them. Two feet away the ground exploded, and the force pushed them to their knees. Penny whipped her hair over her shoulder and grabbed Sheldon's hand.

"Run!" she screamed as another artillery shell hit a few feet to the left. They stumbled across the water logged land to a strand of trees, They only paused a moment to catch their breath before hurtling themselves into the thick jungle.

The sound of gunfire prevented them from speaking in anything other than a scream, so they kept their heads low and tried to get as far from the battle as possible. Penny kept a tight hold on Sheldon, afraid that if she let go, they would get separated. It seemed like they had been running for hours, her legs and chest on fire, when Sheldon was suddenly torn from her hand. She stopped and spun, looking for him. Her heart actually missed a beat as she saw him laying on the ground.

She rushed over and found him gasping for breath. She started to reach for him just as he opened his mouth and let out a pain filled shriek. Penny dropped to her knees beside him blood spread across his chest. Panic filled her, but she forced herself to act. She jerked her shirt over her head and pressed it to the growing stain. Sheldon's right hand wrapped around her wrist and he convulsed.

"Lung…hit…" he gasped weakly. His eyes were scared and confused. "Hurts…Penny."

Tears poured from her eyes as she continued to apply pressure to the wound. "Don't speak,", she pleaded. "Lay still." She looked up, seeing shadows moving through the tree line.

"Medic!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Help! Man down!"

* * *

Howard ignored the conversation going on around him. He started at the TV instead. Slowly he edged forward a bit and studied the movie. The scene was focused on Rambo as he crept through the jungle, but in the distance were two soldiers. Well, he corrected himself, two people. Neither was dressed as a soldier. In fact, one was wearing a Robot Evolution t-shirt. The other wore a red bra.

Howard reached out blindly and grabbed Raj's arm. He pointed to the TV. "Um, who does that look like to you?" he asked.

Raj leaned in closer to the tv and shrugged. "Stallone."

Howard shook his head and stood up. Everyone watched him touch the TV screen. He pointed right at the background characters. One was laying on the ground, his chest slowly turning crimson. The other was a blonde woman, bending over the other guy, her hands on his chest. "Is it just me, or do they look like Sheldon and Penny?"

Everyone inched closer, peering at the screen. Leonard's unexpectedly lax fingers dropped the remote onto the floor and the TV turned off.

* * *

Sheldon coughed and looked around at the hazy foggy scene. Penny was still leaning over him, her hands pressing on his sternum, tears streaming down her face.

"Penny?" he questioned softly.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked down at him. Wonder filled her face and she threw herself down on top of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck tight and his went around her waist. Slowly he sat up, keeping her close. He could barely make out her muffled words between sobs.

"bleeding *hicup* and I was so scared *sob* didn't know *sniffle* lost you!" she wailed.

He awkwardly patted her back and relaxed into her. "I am fine," he said gently. "Just as you have not really been crushed by a meteor, I am not really shot."

Penny pulled back quickly and glared at him through her tears. "Don't you ever do that to me again, Sheldon Cooper! I thought I had lost you!"

Before Sheldon could figure out why her words made his chest feel tight the light was back. He closed his eyes and swiftly wished they ended up someplace pleasant this time.

* * *

Howard snatched up the remote and turned the TV back on, immediately changing the channel as well. They studied the black and white show intently, looking for Sheldon and Penny. The camera slowly panned to the left across a beach and came to rest on two people. The man was sitting in the sand, a blonde held loosely in his arms. In the distance, smoke rose over the tropical paradise. Raj grabbed for the remote, but Howard held it out of reach.

"Change it!" Raj yelled. "He's coming!"

"Who?" Bernadette asked, watching the expression on Sheldon's face with shock.

"Him!" Raj said loudly, pointing to the screen.

* * *

Sheldon stared at Penny as she struggled to get control over her emotions. She was obviously distraught. He found it hard to reconcile her emotional state to the scene they had just been a part of. Did she really care so much for his well being?

He recalled the way he had felt when she had been crushed by the animated meteorite. He hadn't been able to breath. His mind had rejected her death immediately, even as his heart had threatened to stop beating in his chest. Sheldon slowly reached up and cupped her nape. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Her eyes held such deep emotions, and he suspected that he had that same look in his.

Something unexpected and yet not completely new was growing between them. He nervously licked his lips and found his gaze drawn to her lips as she did the same. He was feeling desire for Penny and if he was right, she was feeling it for him as well!

Penny froze as Sheldon began to slowly lean toward her. Oh lord! She wanted nothing more than to press him back into the sand and cover his body with hers! She felt her nipples constrict and warmth spread through her. It had been a long time since she felt this pull for anyone.

Leonard was …comfortable. He tried, he really did. But like she had said before, it was a boring kind of love affair. It had been a very long time since she felt this surge of excitement and need.

Her hand slid up his forearm and tangled in the closely cropped hair at the back of his head. She silently shifted on his lap, the feel of him beginning to hard under her exquisitely arousing.

They froze as a loud angry roar reverberated around them. Slowly they both turned toward the palm trees. They screamed in unison as the humongous cyclops stepped out onto the beach.

* * *

Amy grabbed the remote from Howard's outstretched hand and pressed in the numbers for her favorite channel. Surely nothing could be scary or life threatening on BBC. Right?

* * *

Penny was almost used to the blinding light by now. She cleared her throat awkwardly and stood up. Sheldon followed a moment later. He wouldn't meet her eyes, but she understood. If that creature hadn't burst out of the trees…well, best to put that from her mind. She looked around curiously. The street was stone, not pavement. It was dark out, with only a faint light from a streetlamp nearby.

Sheldon looked up and down both ends of the alley and cleared his throat. "We should probably make our way toward the street," he said as he drew off his outer shirt and handed it to her without looking.

Penny nodded as calmly as she could as she slipped the robot shirt over her head. "Yeah. No telling where this nightmare will take us next."

Sheldon shook his head. "Penny, I do not believe we are in a nightmare."

She looked at him cautiously. She knew how smart he was, but dammit, nightmare was comfortable. Nightmare was understandable. Please god, don't let him say something outrageous, like alternate universes or alien overlords.

"How do you know?" she asked. Sheldon gave her a condescending look, which helped her tuck her libido firmly back in the recesses of her mind. There's the whack-a-doodle she knew!

"For one, we are both here. It is unlikely we are sharing a dream." Sheldon began walking down the alley and she followed. "Two, just before all this began, you and I were arguing in my apartment. Neither of us were asleep. Three, the blinding light. It signals a change in programming."

Penny paused near a dumpster. "Programming? Like in a computer?"

Sheldon turned to face her. "Like on a TV."

Penny's jaw dropped and she stared at him like he was insane. "TV? You think we are stuck in the TV?"

Sheldon nodded. "Examine the evidence. We have been in a cheesy monster flick, South Park, a war movie and the last one was a scene from The 7th Voyage of Sinbad. I recognized the cyclops from Ray Harryhausen."

Penny slumped against the wall behind her, her breathing becoming more erratic. Sheldon took a step toward her but stopped. She clutched at her sides, her heart racing in her chest. Black spots appeared in her vision and she felt like throwing up. Vaguely she heard someone speaking but she couldn't focus on the voice. Suddenly strong hands grabbed her upper arms and swung her away from the building. She instinctively struck out, connecting with a firm jaw.

"Calm yourself!" a deep voice commanded. Penny tried to focus on that confident tone and slowly her eyes rose to meet a deep blue gaze. She struggled to keep her focus on those incredible eyes and slowly her breathing began to even out.

Penny clung to the man as he drew her into a close embrace. "You were having a panic attack. Are you calmer now?" he asked carefully.

Penny nodded and looked over her shoulder. Sheldon was a few feet away, staring at the man holding her with anger. Another man stood beside him, one hand holding tight to Sheldon's right arm. Her eyes widened as she recognized the stranger. She turned back to the man who had come to her rescue and gasped. "Oh my," she said softly. "Sherlock Holmes."

He smiled humorously down at her. "Is that an declaration of ownership?" he teased.

Penny slowly grinned back at him.

* * *

"Turn it up!" Bernadette complained. I can barely hear them!"

Amy hit the volume button and they listened to the tall dark haired man bring Penny out of her panic. Leonard's hands curled into fists as he watched his girlfriend smile up at the guy with admiration. "What the hell?! First it kinda looks like Penny and Sheldon are about to kiss, and now she's making goo-goo eyes at this guy?!"

Amy send him a glare, refusing to believe that her boyfriend and her bestie had done any such thing. "They were not kissing. They were clinging to each other in fear."

Howard snorted and then flinched as Bernie slapped his arm. He inched away from his wife and looked back at the TV. "What program is this?"

"Sherlock," Raj answered. "A modern take on the Sherlock Holmes mythology. It's very good."

Amy looked at him with derision. "I have seen commercials for it. Sherlock appears to use his telephone to solve his cases."

Raj shook his head. "Oh no. He's a genius. His phone is mostly for texting Watson, or for proving what he already knows. And Watson is not some bumbling idiot following him around. He was a soldier in Afghanistan, and got shot. He is a sharpshooter, and a skilled doctor. Holmes is incredibly smart, easily bored and very handsome. Penny and I watch it every week."

Leonard glared at him before looking back at the TV. Sherlock was escorting her up a narrow stairway. Watson and Sheldon were following behind. They entered a small apartment and Sherlock drew her over to a small sofa. He sat down beside her, one arm draped over the back of the sofa. Penny smiled at him and appeared to cuddle closer.

* * *

Sheldon took a seat on an armchair and watched angrily as their host ignored him and continued to flirt with Penny. Surely she wasn't _really_ impressed by a fictional character's pseudo-intelligence!

"So," Penny continued as she angled her body toward Sherlock, "we appear to be stuck in Sheldon's TV. Wow, your eyes are blue."

Sherlock smiled and picked up her hand. "A beautiful woman appears in an alley without warning, presenting me with a mystery unlike any other I have ever come across. This must be my lucky day."

Watson settled in the other armchair, and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Sherlock, do you seriously believe their story?"

Sheldon glared at the doctor. "Are you accusing Penny of lying?"

Before Watson could answer Sherlock looked over. "Of course he is not. He merely thinks you both insane."

Penny bit her bottom lip. "You think we're crazy?"

Sherlock turned back to her. His expression was reassuring. "No. I do not. I saw you appear out of thin air." He brushed a thumb across her bottom lip, releasing it from her teeth. "But finding out how to send you back may be my greatest challenge."

Penny sighed wistfully, a sound that made Sheldon's teeth clench tight.

* * *

Leonard grabbed the remote and smashed the channel button rapidly. When nothing happened he smacked it with his hand. "Why isn't the channel changing?!"

Amy snatched it back. "Don't break it! We'll never get them out!"

Bernadette took it from Amy and opened the battery compartment. "Maybe the batteries are dead. Do you have any more AAA batteries, Leonard?"

Leonard scrambled around Howard and Raj to open his desk drawer. He whined with frustration as he pulled out three empty battery packages. He hurried over to Sheldon's desk, only pausing a moment out of fear of strikes, before jerking open drawers to search for what he needed.

"Oh come on!" he groaned. "Sheldon is prepared for a zombie apocalypse but doesn't have AAA batteries?"

He looked around the apartment frantically and grabbed his keys. "I'll go buy some! Don't let that pretty boy seduce her!" he shouted as he ran out of the apartment quickly.

Howard looked at Amy. "How does he expect us to do that?"

Bernadette rolled her eyes at the door. "More importantly, why does he think Penny is so easily seduced? I've never known her to be a cheater."

* * *

Penny glanced at Sheldon as he stared out the window. Sherlock and John had gone out to pick up some groceries, and would be back soon. "Sweetie? You okay?"

Sheldon grunted but kept his attention on the street below.

Penny rolled her eyes and stood up. She walked over and lightly touched his forearm. "Talk to me, sweetie. What's wrong?"

Sheldon stepped away from her angrily and slumped in a chair. "Why are we still here? We've been here for over an hour, and the program hasn't changed. Every other time, the programming shifted after only 15 minutes at most. We haven't we moved on to another show?"

Penny shrugged and sat down opposite him. "I don't know. But at least here we're safe. No monsters or guns. I'm sure Sherlock will figure it out."

Sheldon's hands clenched on the chair's arms. "Sherlock!" he snorted derisively. "He's not real, Penny. He's a made up character. And have you forgotten Leonard? What about him? You are making bedroom eyes at some fictional character while your boyfriend is back home!"

Penny gasped and narrowed her eyes. "I am _not_ making bedroom eyes at anyone!" she hissed. "And of course I haven't forgotten Leonard! But maybe you have! Or was that someone else who almost kissed me on the beach?"

Sheldon jumped up from his chair. "I never!" he yelled. "I was simply disoriented and clung to you. Because …because I was scared!" He stormed out of the room and down the stairs. "You were simply convenient support!"

Penny was too upset to follow him. Was that true? He hadn't really felt anything like she had? She jumped slightly as the front door opened again and looked up to see Sherlock entering the room.

"Your friend and John have decided to go for a pint at the pub. They will return shortly." He set a couple of bags in the kitchen and walked over to sit in the chair vacated by Sheldon. "You are upset?" he asked curiously.

Penny sighed and shrugged. "We argued," she replied softly. "It's nothing, I guess. We're just stuck in a weird situation and he's mad. At me."

Sherlock smiled and leaned forward. "Fear not, my dear. We'll get this sorted out and soon you will be back home."

Penny looked at him with surprise. "You really do believe me, don't you?" He nodded calmly and she frowned harder. "Aren't you upset that you are just a TV character?"

Sherlock shrugged. "Would my anger change that? And who is to say that I am only a fictional character. My world is real. Very real, to me. I have family and John. I have my work. I have seen death and life. To me, it is very real indeed. Who is to say your world is not also a TV program? Maybe all worlds are. Regardless, it is still a life. It matters not to me, as long as I have a mystery to solve, a violin to play, and a place to call home."

Penny stood and moved across to hug him. "Thank you," she whispered. "That was exactly what I needed to hear."

Sherlock stood and embraced her in return. "Come, you need to rest, so you may have use of my bed. I will begin trying to figure out how to return you to your program," he teased. Penny nodded and followed him to the small bedroom. She laid down on the bed and Sherlock drew the blankets up over her. He turned out the light and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Everyone jumped as Leonard burst back into the apartment. "Is she okay? Did he do anything to her?"

Howard grinned widely. "She's in his bed right now."

Leonard dropped the batteries and threw himself in front of the TV, his hands gripping the edges tight. "What?! No! Not a guy like him! She's mine!"

Bernadette slapped Howard's arm and jerked Leonard away from the TV. "Sherlock is letting her rest in his bed. She's alone, you big baby!'

Leonard reached for his inhaler, his heart thumping too hard. "But she'll do it," he whined again. "She won't be able to resist. He'll tell her she's pretty again and she's going to sleep with him!"

Even Howard looked at Leonard with annoyance this time.

"Dude," Raj said wearily, "Penny has never cheated on you. She's never given you any reason to think she would. You need to get a grip."

Leonard glared at his friend. "I saw her first! I've spent six years fighting for her. He can't have her!" Leonard looked at Amy furiously. "And neither can Sheldon. You keep him away from my Penny!"

Amy had opened her mouth to agree with Leonard but paused at his last words. Did she sound like that? She had been dating Sheldon for almost three years. She had worked hard to get closer to him. Leonard made it sound like Penny was some sort of prize he had fought for and was scared to lose. Not like she was a person with feelings and a mind of her own.

Was Sheldon attracted to Penny? Was Penny interested in Sheldon? They were close friends. Even when they didn't spend a lot of time together, she knew they still maintained that closeness. They sparked off each other in a way that made her feel left out sometimes. But what would happen to her if Sheldon and Penny ended up together. Would she be cast aside? She looked at the TV screen with a mix of confusion and worry.

* * *

Sheldon gulped down the dark ale angrily. John sipped his, watching him carefully. "So, you and Penny?"

Sheldon looked at the other man with shock. "Of course not! Penny is my roommate's girlfriend. I am in a relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler! She is much more suited to me that someone like Penny!"

John looked unconvinced, but kept silent. Sheldon gulped more of the ale.

"She's messy and unruly, and she doesn't mind! She is always touching my stuff, and sitting in my spot. She steals milk and mooches food. She never leaves me in peace. Did you know, she doesn't even separate her dirty laundry into whites and darks? And she makes me uncomfortable!"

John grinned, thinking about his own relationship. "The best ones do."

Sheldon sighed heavily and set his pint down. "I am not supposed to feel this way," he said softly. "I am above such things. Or rather, I am supposed to be. Amy is the type of woman I should be attracted to. She is intelligent, she understands my work, and we can discuss the mysteries of the universe on almost equal footing. Penny doesn't know an electron from a proton. She has no interest in my work. Yet," he paused and looked over at John, "with Penny, I feel accepted. Not understood, but still important. She cares for me, and she helps me. Not out of obligation, but because she wants to. Penny is the one I first think of when I need comfort or help. Why?"

John shrugged but held his tongue. He knew Sheldon needed to work this out for himself.

"I do not want to lose Amy's friendship. But I do not feel attracted to her. But if I say so, if I break off our romantic relationship, I will lose her friendship. Penny cares for Leonard, even though they are not healthy for each other. They use sex as a glue to keep them together, when it is obvious that they were both much happier as friends. Leonard values her for her physical appeal, not her heart. Penny sees him as the safe guy. The one she knows will not abandon her."

He shook his head with sadness. "I would not abandon her," he whispered. "But she has never looked to me for that. And now, she looks at your friend in a way I wish she would look at me."

"Tall, dark hair, attractive features, intelligent, and charming," John said calmly.

Sheldon growled. "Yes. And I hate him for it."

John grinned and looked at Sheldon. "Actually, I meant you. Maybe she looks at him like that because she can't look at you. Not without a lot of guilt or fear, anyway."

Sheldon's jaw dropped and he stared at John for several seconds. Hope took root in his mind slowly. "Do you think that is possible?"

John shrugged. "Maybe you should ask her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, my friend."

Sheldon was silent for a long time. Suddenly he picked up his pint and drained the last of it. "You're right! I'm going to ask her!"

John jumped to his feet as Sheldon stormed from the pub with determination. He threw a few pounds on the bartop and hurried after the intriguing American.

* * *

She tried to sleep, but her mind kept replaying Sheldon's words. Convenient support. He was her best friend. She cared about him so much. If she didn't keep a stranglehold on her heart, she could easily love him. Maybe that was why she continued to cling to Leonard. She couldn't have Sheldon, so she settled for his best friend. It wasn't fair to Leonard, she knew, but it was all she had. God, she was such a screw up!

She threw back the blanket and sat up. Maybe this was a good thing. She was miserable in Pasadena. Sherlock said this world was real. Maybe he was right and her world was also a TV program. Maybe her life was a soap opera. She stood slowly and headed out of the bedroom. Well, characters left soap operas all the time. Maybe she could as well.

Sherlock was bent over his laptop, studying weather patterns when she stepped up behind him. She cleared her throat softly. "Can …can I ask you something?"

He turned to face her with a slight smile. "Of course, my dear. What would you like to know?"

Penny nibbled her bottom lip. "Do you think it would be possible to only send one of us home?" she asked hesitantly. "To send Sheldon back, and let me stay here?" She blushed quickly. "I mean, not _here_ here. But to stay in this world?"

Sherlock stood and looked down at her curiously. "You want to stay? May I ask why?"

She looked down at her hands clasped in front of her. "I'm miserable back there. Life …well, let's just say I'm not in a good place there. My boyfriend is nice, but I don't love him. I stay with him so I don't lose his friendship. I love my friends, but they make me feel stupid. There's someone I do care for, but he'd never be interested in me. I just want to start over."

Sherlock studied her carefully. "Tell me about this guy you care for. What is he like?"

Penny blushed and shrugged. "Smart. Genius smart. Tall, boyishly charming at times. Condescending at others. He's sweet, and fun, and very attractive. Tall, kind of slim, but with these incredible eyes."

Sherlock placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back. "Hmm. If anyone else were to hear you, they might suspect you were describing me and not your friend Sheldon."

Penny smiled widely. "You do remind me of him a bit."

Sherlock laughed and bent his head. He couldn't stand not knowing something, and the urge to know what she tasted like was compelling.

* * *

"Do you see!" Leonard shrieked loudly, pointing to the screen. He stepped forward and started to grab the TV, but Howard and Bernadette quickly pushed him back. His eyes were red and watery as he glared at the screen. Sherlock tilted Penny's head back and Leonard threw himself onto the couch. "I knew she would fall for him!"

Amy stared at the resignation in Penny's eyes as Sherlock compared himself and Sheldon. Penny loved Sheldon. There was no doubt in her mind now.

* * *

Sheldon took the stairs two at a time. He needed to speak to Penny _right now, _while he had the courage to do so. He threw open the apartment door just as Sherlock's lips pressed snugly against Penny's.

Maybe it was his low tolerance for alcohol. Maybe it was the stress of their situation. Maybe it was just that his own desires had been building for too long. Whatever the reason, he immediately reverted to his Texas roots. His fist connected squarely with the British man's jaw, sending him reeling into the desk.

Penny gasped as Sheldon jerked her to his side, the other hand still curled into a fist. His eyes were blue flames as he growled at their host. "Touch my woman again, and I will kill you!"

Seconds later she was stumbling down the steps behind him as Sheldon pulled her out of the building. He kept a tight hold on her wrist as he stormed down the sidewalk. Within minutes they were back in the alley they first arrived in. Penny was gasping for breath as Sheldon suddenly swung around and grabbed her shoulders. She didn't even have time to blink before his mouth crashed down on hers and Sheldon Cooper, certified genius, proceeded to kiss the hell out of her.

* * *

Leonard stood and grabbed his cell phone. He headed to the front door as he dialed. "Alex? You still want to go out? Meet me at the Siam Palace." He slammed the door behind him, leaving four worried people standing in the apartment.

Bernadette turned to Amy worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Amy sighed heavily. "No. But I cannot say I am surprised by this. I have suspected they had a connection between them for a while now." She looked at Howard, Raj and Bernadette sadly. "I will miss our friendships."

Bernadette grabbed Amy's hand firmly. "Amy, we are still friends. Please, I know it will be awkward for a bit, but please don't leave."

Raj straightened his shoulders suddenly. He walked over and pulled Amy's hand from Bernadette's and gave her a small smile. "Amy, if you are not doing anything tonight, would you like to have a drink with me?"

Amy's eyes widened and she gaped up at Raj. "You want to have a drink with me?"

Raj nodded. "I like you. I have for a while now. Maybe you like me a little bit, too?"

Amy grinned slowly. "I would love to have a drink with you," she said softly.

Bernadette and Howard watched Amy and Raj head out the door with smiles of their own. Howard shut the door and looked at his wife. "So, are you satisfied with our little experiment?"

Bernadette nodded and turned back to the TV. "Bring them home."

Howard picked up the remote he had created weeks ago. He pressed the eject button and a blinding light filled the room. When it dissipated, Sheldon and Penny were standing in front of the TV, arms still locked around each other. They both blinked and looked around them. Bernadette secretly took the remote from Howard and slipped it into her purse, and handed him Sheldon's real remote.

Penny and Sheldon blushed and sprang apart. Howard smiled. "Don't bother. We saw it all on the TV. Good to see you two finally figured it out."

Bernadette nodded happily. "And don't worry about the others. Leonard is off to see Alex and Raj and Amy have decided to date. You two are free to be together now."

Before Sheldon and Penny could respond, Howard and Bernadette left the apartment, hand in hand. Sheldon looked down at Penny shyly. "I suspect our friends may have had something to do with our recent adventure."

Penny licked her lips, savoring the taste of Sheldon's lips. "You called me 'your woman'. Did you mean it?"

Sheldon blushed and nodded. "I have feelings for you that go beyond the friendship paradigm. Am I correct in thinking you feel the same?"

Penny nodded and slipped her arms from his waist to his neck. "You're pretty smart for a genius."

Sheldon pulled her closer. "Does this mean I'm The Guy?"

Penny leaned up on her toes. "You are definitely The Guy." Sheldon bent and kissed her again.

* * *

Sheldon and Penny never did figure out how they got sucked into the TV. Howard destroyed the remote and the schematic for it as soon as he got home. Sure, it was a revolutionary device, but it had served it's purpose. They had no more need of it.


End file.
